I am a frog, I play games.

Here you get only the good stuff, pure, unadulterated, none of that back-alley haberdashery, found-it-in-the-$5-bin-at-the-Tucson-Walmart gobbledygook. I take the finest ingredients, games and playing them, and combine to make the greatest thing in the history of thing-making that has ever been made (and I should know as the world's foremost authority on things that are things, having a 12-year jurisdoctorate* on the subject *with honors!)

How do I do it? Simple:

Step 1: Buy/Barter/Borrow/Acquire, through Yugoslavian poker buddies or otherwise, a brand spanking new game
Step 2: Let that sucker stew for a bit in my library. Yeah, get all dusty and backloggy
Step 3: Loathe self for most unspendthrifty habits
Step 4: Binge
Step 5: Wait
Step 6: Binge, then wait, then binge some more
Step 7: Return to Step 1
Step 8: Stare lovingly into the soft and caring eyes of Mr. Clean, the sweet magic eraser box man who's always been there for you, through thick and thin, telling you how it's okay that you've eaten the last tropical-flavor sour gummy worm in the bag because what even IS a gummy worm anyway I mean these little guys are just too good for this world and another thing why the HELL do people use decorative pillows I mean for crying out loud I don't wanna just stand around and STARE at the damn couch I wanna sit on the thing after a long day of painstakingly counting every single strip of loose beard hair in the sink from my latest session of unmitigated blood-sucking torture that society has deigned to call "shaving" but APPARENTLY that's just TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR, CLEAN-O, YOU CANTANKEROUS DISTENDED B-my goodness look at the clock I really ought to find something to eat for the first time this lunar cycle, tata!
Step 9: Play the damn thing already, you clod

It's just that easy™